i think i'm really a bad guy,
even i broke with my Ex a year ago,
i had no such a feeling so sad like now,
Mr. Jack, you did a good job!
wakakakakkakakka...

I cried.
Yes, i did.
today, 20150607 Midnight.

I really felt so so so sad...
tears non-stop dropping..
and still keep saying:

"i really feel so sad..."

i really want to record down this moment,
because this is a prove that still telling me that
i am a human,
a prove to myself that,
i loved, i lived

and a big step moving forward.
:)

a stronger and better me.
feeling so much better now.
and i want to hug myself
and tell myself

i will always love you.

@20150607020454

我一直重复说：我真的好难过....
我是真心知道，没有结果的，最后伤心的，也只会是自己。
会那么痛，是因为，
我爱他爱到不是我自己，而他依然是他自己，
以后，他的快乐与悲伤，我会慢慢放开。
他会快乐的，而我也会慢慢走出去。

P/s:- something so strange that, today is my ex birthday.. wakakaka... later people thought i was crying because of him.. but in fact.. NO!!! lol.. the fucker sure celebrating with his current bf, but im just crying at home.. what a pity fact in the world? wakakkakakak... anyhow, its so tragedy, it's life... i love it, and no point to wish my ex cause i think he won't remember me ever came to his life. :)

Resuming Latin Dancing

Practicing at Taman Megah before working.. So hard working me~~~~

i don't like to let people knowing that i'm learning dancing.
i don't like people to few so wondering on this.
i'm learning dancing is only because i like it, just like this.

it's some kind like i have no point to announce the world that i'm in love,
i think we only let the close mates informed that's it.

i am so happy to resume the Latin dancing again.
some more i feel so glad i matured abit when i dance,
i think i can really enjoy with it now days..

even..
so stressful in catch-up those steps...
but i think worth it!

(well, this is my secret island, so i can freely announce here~~~)

@20150605133533

___________________

#edstrology
#happyday

Practiced at Jack's Playground

Jern Jern's operation

Ah Jern Jern is my car.

i think most of my friends are knowing Jern Jern is my car's name.

anyway,

i just sent Ah Jern to service.

maybe there is a question that, what's wrong to mention.

but... this time really different...

see...

omg..... 

i really feel so shocked about this...

it's somekind like a human having a big operation!!!

my heart just feel so painful when i saw this...

it's costed me about 1k to fix him.

i hope he will be alright after this.. 

coz he is my good friend and heared me so much voices and emotionally Up and down.

i don't know how long he will be with me, 

but i wish as long as he can make..

we build the faith with each other,

i hope he can feel my loves, 

my touch,

until i no longer innocent.

-----------------

well,

caused of Jern jern was sent for "hospital" 2 days still haven't discharge,

so i forced to stay overnight with Jack like a mistress in his house.

i don't feel we are couple anymore,

but just a friend that can give support to each other.

i more concern about the practicing about my dance...

omg.,,

i feel so stress that if i can't dance well..

the steps are so so complicated..

hardly to memorize those..

but pressure can make things move..

i must keep more practicing!!!

wish me luck!!!

handsome look at the morning

but now....

very Jin Jang look... 😂😂😂

work harder babe!

@20150603102011

#edstrology

#JernJern

#love

p/s:- Happy Birthday, Poh Wan!! love you all the time... 😘😘

The Dream i had this morning...

I had a weird dream this morning.

i am not that kind of person that able to recall whats the dream about,
but this morning, the dream had come someone's face that i already missed long ago

i have no idea why i dreamed about her.

she is someone i don't know her name...
i just feel her smiling face like very innocent like a kid from old days we had..
i have no idea how is her status right now,
mostly she already get married and has her baby.

for recent days,
i was always thinking like
i am no longer a teenager
even those days from secondary sch were passing over very very long ago..
but i don't feel everything seem so far away from now..
perhaps it's a symptoms for getting older..

anyhow,
i dunno is it the dream was something related to my day,
but i feel
its some kind like First love that you almost forgot,
but suddenly get you a visit,
just a smiling face that never carry any grown ups' winkles

it's romantic when
something that you never know
how's the ending

isn't it?

i wish her all the best,
i knew in future
she won't visit me again

I already trying so hard to memorize her face from my dream.. i think she's is so much younger than the sketch i had here..

@20150602091846

#edstrology
#sketching
#mygirl

p/s:- Jern Jern sent to workshop for over night.. hope he is alright.

4 Weddings and a Funeral

After all these years,

finally i watched the movie

- 4 Weddings and A Funeral

i think i love this movie

i'm trying to let myself fall on 90's to feel what they see from the moment.

they are funny, full of english accent, all roles are act fun... bla bla..

well, this is not what i feel so wonder,

but this:

Love at First Sight...

do you really believe this feeling?

have you ever ask yourself that,

you do really into it?

can you still recall the moment when your first met with your beloved one?

and the love relationship can really stay strong when everything goes with only the feeling from the "first sight"?

what?

eye contact?

opps..

well, movies are always playing so well..

in reality world i would like to taste once...

But the point is where is he/she?

perhaps like what Charles said after the funeral:

Maybe all this "waiting for one true" stuff gets you nowhere...

so?

where are you in love now? :)

@20150601134837

#fourweddingandafuneral
#edstrology
#greatmovie
#lovestory

Saturday on 2015.05.30

I just can't believe that i just spent my Saturday morning in this way...
i never stepped out my my house, and just staying at home.

Actually i am not really enjoy this way.
i always expect a quality rest on weekend, but i don't think this is a good rest.
At this moment i still have no proper meal for my day.

I would like to ask myself, what is the real "Rest" in fact?

can we stop heart beating?
can we just stop breathing since the day comes no longer excited?

i doubt,
and i know i will not doubt for so long.

i've been so tired of keeping thinking some in-answer doubt.
i think this is how wasted Saturday i had for 2015.05.30.

i wish everything is going back to the track.
let me find out soon,

else i will never forgive myself.

@20150530211651

#edingsacting
#edstrology